Thursday, 10 March 2011

Liveblogging the weed marathon

Here I sit. Next to me are Fred and Martin. Fred is a thirty-year old Italian who works as Goofy at Disneyland and who has a long history of chugging booze with me. Martin is a round-headed Englishman who looks like Charlie Brown probably would look at 27.

It is 13:27. We're going to be smoking massive amounts of weed while watching all sorts of dumbass movies. We used to do these marathons with really intellectual films, but things have kind of degraded. At first we did a Kubrick marathon, then a Schwarzenegger marathon, and now it's just dumb random movies.

I wanna see whether I can write when stoned, so I'll be updating this blog every two hours or so. Onwards ye masses!

13:54 -- One mega joint down, a thing the length of a camel's tongue. Not started on the movies yet, we're playing a game of trivia pursuit on the PS3. Pretty cool, if it weren't for the dumbass motherfucker who voices it and who gives us snazzy remarks before the questions and then asks "how could we possibly, possibly know THAT"! Someone cockslap him.

14:08 -- Minor dispute over the choice of the first film.

15:36 -- Halfway through Beerfest. Fred is about to try something he saw in the film. Breathe in from the joint, down a beer, down a shot, breathe out the smoke. Went through it all right. We're ok so far, so we lit the third joint.

16:18 -- Before coming home we had passed by Fred's place because he wanted to pick up some stuff. He suspiciously brought home condoms. We're through Beerfest now. This incited us to pull out the bierstick (google it if you don't know what it is). We are trying to pull it open by pulling it by the two sides. Fred suggests putting condoms on it. We refuse because it seems too homoerotic. Martin is looking for some way of opening the bierstick now. Got it!

18:02 -- That fucking bierstick, I couldn't get half in before the foam exploded like the Vesuvius. Finished seeing Ali G. Lost count of joints, three, four? Martin is rolling another one.

18:56 -- Golly. I'm really starting to feel the effects now. Martin always rolls these volcanic biblical pillars of fire. We've again interrupted the films for some trivial pursuit. Such a cultural soiree over here in Paris.

19:45 -- Oh the sweet, sweet descent. The hour at which I am writing corresponds to the year of the end of World War II. Is there a prophetic sign there? I can see walls and windows falling down in the past.

21:15 -- I am passing out....

23:35 -- I must have did pass out, at least for the entire duration of easy rider. We are eating like pigs. I'm back awake, but I'm gonna die if they roll anymore.

01:27 -- I think this is over. Trying to get some sleep now.

05:00 -- Fred's alarm goes off and it scares me shitless. I am sleeping on the floor so I wake to the sight of him looming over me like he's going to throw up. I leap out of the way very quickly. He has to go to work at 7 and I curse him while going back to sleep. My curse is probably redundant - he must be cursing his life right now.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Tell your mates that they are welcome!